All I see is love ....

These days all I feel is love
Feeling of immense love,
I never knew i was capable of this Love
Crazy stupid addictive love
 I feel, breathe and live Love

Deep red,  burning and carefree love
I like this feeling, strange love but I like it

I am fearless that you would never go away
I am sure you'll stay
You'll hold my hand in my strongest pain
You'll give strength to my torn veins

You are my source of inspiration, energy and courage
You are centre of my universe, you are my 400 billion star that shine day and night to give me this bondage

I feel my love  is growing exponentially
You give me strength physically and emotionally
All my numbness is gone, its just love in me 

I love this deep red burning and addictive Love !!!!

Seven Angels of my life

Old story....but faded beautiful memories of past
that mesmerising touch, love and care for eternal last
She was my mother, it was no one other
Feeling my sign language and nurturing my feathers

Time wheel moved few years ahead, I am now ten
Learning different languages and pencil is replaced by a Pen.
She was my English teacher, and my favorite of all times
Appreciating my childish rhymes and dramatic chimes


Feeling as queen seventeen, seven more years are gone
Romance novels and classics is what I am keen on
They were all avid female writers whom I was reading
Thinking to walk on their paths and dreaming


Not destined to be an engineer, landed up there
Clueless and puzzled, missed my true self always here
She was a visiting faculty, who continued later on and became permanent
She guided me and showed the path of success, voicing my talent


Journey in the engineering college was dull and bore
Until I met her in the 2nd semester in the stationary store
She is one of the seven angels in my life till date
We are best of buddies and rest is in the hands of fate


Mumbai, second edition of my life just started
Totally homesick, in search of that single familiar thread
She came in my life as a ray of hope
We enjoyed 3 years together, no sadness in scope



I am a free bird now celebrated silver jubilee at twenty five
New dreams, new expectations and new hope to survive
She has been here all these days, helping,supporting giving high five
Wish if we could have been like this since the beginning and jive


This women’s day wanted to express my love for you all
Unable to find a suitable medium took this weird call
Though emotions are true and feeling are as strong as ever
I wanna thank god for today and wish u all to be in my life forever!!!

A Trash !!!

Hundred letters, thousand words, million lines
……….and then a trash
Wrote those emotions on the wall of my heart
……… and then a trash
Explaining me, explaining you all those nagging
………and then a trash
Saying those words for being together forever
……….and then a trash

Monsoon rains and rain drenched streets
Emotions of pain ……..all in trash
Single roof, unforgettable yet beautiful goof
Explaining oneself……all in trash
Believing destiny and enjoying the harmony
Remembering them …….all in trash

Love, Care, Compassion or Trust
Meaningless words…..just a trash
Wonderful song "Knowing me knowing you "
Only lyrics…..just a trash
Holding your hands, walking along the shore
Promises and Prayers……just a trash
Waiting for you forever and forever
An endless queue……............never ever a trash

Yes, Its you !!

I was standing alone, waiting for you!
You are gone forever, I never knew!
I was about to lose myself in this world’s endless queue!
I felt someone holding my hand, turned back and saw it's you!

Though my feelings are not many, just a few!
And I know you are unaware, even with a clue!
I want to share all my memories, old and new!
Because they are purely incomplete, without you!

I woke up yesterday, and touched the morning dew!
My fingers on the window pane, it’s your name what I drew!
Endless attempt of calling you, ended up at “contacts” view!
Expected at every knock on the door, but it’s never you!

If crosswords of life completes, without any whew!
I will turn scarlet red, erasing all the blue!
Beautiful shadows of past, though welcomed lieu!
Because I felt someone holding my hand, turned back and saw its you!

Except Last Few !!!

************************************************************************************* Monday, 21 April 2004 Most Memorable Moments !!!! 

 1) I Still remember I was crying and shouting when I went to school. for the first time ...though I knew everyone over there, but all of them seem different. I was screaming " I don't want to be here..I want to go home" ...but the alas...no one let me go !!!! I lied down there...screaming, crying !!

 2) I was in nursery and I performed a dance on a famous bollywood song of that time " main khwabo ki shehjadi" I was wearing a white gown and had a tiara. everyone said I'll become a great dancer ! 

 3) When I saw The TajMahal, It was huge and the white, and the biggest house/or a closed construction I have ever seen. Baba told the story of Shahjahan and Mumtaz while we are getting soaked in Taj Mahal's beauty, I asked baba "Why did the king chose marble? " He said "white is combination of all the colors, since life is also combination of different emotions Shahjahan wanted cherish them all whenever he sees Tajmahal...so he chose White !" 

 4) When I felt the piousness of the river Ganga at Haridwar, it was heavenly, I felt I am touching the purest thing in this entire world.  

5) When I stayed alone at home for the first time in life because Mia and Baba had to go to the village to meet nanaji, I had to take my school final exams all by myself, I missed them dearly yet I performed very well and scored highest marks of my entire life

.6)When for the first time I went to the marriage of mom's gupta bibiji's son's marriage ( first time I’ve attended a gathering as huge as this) The place was crowded with silks, satin and gold …and I was extremely happy because of the new dress Gupta Aunty gave me without any specific occasion like Diwali. 

7) The moment when my doll pinky got married to Sunita's doll Raj ! even though I cried until all my tears were dried up, next day I was happy that I will get a new doll soon to play with !!! 

 8) When papa never came home, he left us for ever !!!! We left our house and started living here, behind the broken  pipeline ! 

 9) When I mass asked to leave school and take care of my brother because she had to work for late hours. 

10) Maa sent me to Delhi with Rashid chacha to earn money and support our family. 

11) When I earned my first rupee.!!I lay down there, screaming, crying and became Shabnam 

12) When I knew, I cannot go back, I cannot meet them, I cannot be sunaina again !

These are those few moments of my life I really wish I can live again......

Except the last few !!!!

************************************************************************************ pages from sunaina's diary

Awaking the (A)rtist soul !!!

Thursday evening……… 

I am returning back from my work, as usual I am plugging headphones into cell and tuning into some radio channel , so that I can enjoy my evening walk to my abode!!! These days radio channels put up so many events for their publicity, conduct contests ….. and give away several prizes. Previously I used to always send my entries to some or other contests……but it never worked for me….so I stopped eventually!!! Wait wait…..RJ Meera asking people to send some sms , if people are interested to perform with the “navy band “ !( Oh my god it’s the Indian Naval Band !!!) My hungry (A)rtist soul is too eager be a part of it “please please ..i want to participate I wanna sing” says (A )soul. “NO” a big disapproval from my typical particular (C)omplicated mind…… it scolded …..asked to shut up and calm down!!!! 20 minutes passed ….. still Meera is asking for entries….this time …my hand is not listening to my ‘C’ mind, prioritizing my ‘A’ soul… sends an sms “I realy sing well” ! My mobile beeps for an sms from 5888 thanking me for participating in the contest!!! Day Ends!!!

  Friday morning….. 

 I am working ……learning rocket science or the submarine theories!!!! While coding, testing and preparing some documents simultaneously…I am overloaded with as usual …but that doesn’t effect my loyalty to orkut/gmail/google search !!!!

 My phone is ringing…a Mumbai landline number blinks ….same old stuff “mam I am calling from ******** bank..is there is any requirement for loan?” NO No Nooooooo there is not !!! Am again back to work !!!! 

Twenty minutes later my phone is again glaring a landline number…..

I reply very annoyingly… “#%^%$@! HEELO” ……” 

She: “Hi Prerana I am kreetika from Radio mirchi"

Me: Radio Mirchi ???? Oh hi…. She:: you have sent a sms to meera yesterday?

 Me: (me ???OHHHH..so it worked) Yes yes I did !!!

 She: We are taking a live audition…would u like to sing now??? 

Me: (Now??? Is she mad or what?? I am core to the crust of debugging and now she wants me to sing ) Actually I am at my office gimme two minutes please! 

She: Sure take your time baby!!! 

I am heading towards the parking porch…..yes its relatively noisy..but nobosy is around as such !!! 

Me: Yes…Shall I sing now??

 She: Definitely I am waiting!!! 

Me: Ok…(lets play my best shot !!) 

Tinka tinka zara zara hai roshni se bhara …………!!!! 

She: Awesome. ….you are too good girl !!! Why don’t you try your luck in playback??? I declare u the winner of this contest honey …..!! 

Me: Thankyou thank you very much……!!! (So now what am I suppose to do!!) 

She: you will perform with the “Indian Naval Band” tomorrow at Bandra!!!

 Me: wow!!! Thanks!!!! 

 I am back to rocket science and submarine theories !!!! 

Day Ends!!!! 

  Saturday Evening…………………… 

 I am here at joggers’ Park Bandra….. (My goodnesss it’s a huge celebration. I am not dressed as per the occasion!!! Now what!!! Anyway where are these radio mirchi people…I have to serch them !!! ….!@$@##!@##!&&%...oh there is a girl wearing a yello radio mirchi T shirt!! ) 

Me:Excuse me.... Hi...... I am Prerana…… 

She : Oh ...Hi.. I am Prakriti…….Welcome….here is the band and here are u…..so now u can practice !! 

The band was huge…they seemed to be at their best ….. and here I am ….. forgotten all the rules of music…. Day by day becoming a unbearable singer from a bearable one …. It has been long I have performed somewhere….… my last performance was in Raipur !!! and that also 2 years back…. !! 

Nowadays. I just sing for myself, my family and some of my selected friends ……really I am scared!!!! By the way in 30 mins my performance would start!!! 

In the end it was not that bad ( ya...some crazy people shouted for once more !!!! is it a joke or what ??? )!!! 

People praised and I got a small recognition in this big city of dreams ……!!!! 

Thanks Mumbai….thanks Radio Mirchi…..Thanks the Naval Band…..for awakening my (A)soul !!! For helping me to find its true spirit !!! 

  (Now I promise myself I will never ever loose it, Go Away you (C) Soul its time for A(Soul) to shine ) Day Ends

This Diwali....

Few days back we had a cubicle decoration competition at our office, theme was Diwali …as usual I also participated in it along with my team. We chose to decorate our cubicle on a different theme “Celebrating Diwali with a cause” (as we didn’t had many things with us to decorate it the way we wanted and by the time we started planning things…….other teams were already done with their decoration) .That event was a great success and we won the competition in the best theme category. The main reason for winning was the smart work we did by choosing a wonderful theme, where the tag line mentioned was “let’s worship and celebrate humanity this Diwali”. The main focus of our theme was to celebrate Diwali in a subtle way this year, as we Indians have faced main disasters in past few months …be it the serial bomb blasts in various cities or the floods in Bihar, current downfall in the market or the high inflation rate, every where we faced many natural and circumstantial disasters. So we maintained the theme and this Idea clicked. We won the competition!
The very next day was Diwali!!!
For the first time in my life I was away from home on Diwali, I was sad and upset due to this very fact of not being with my loved ones in the festive season….. I was alone and feeling very gloomy and decided to spent my day watching television…every channel was broadcasting some or the other reality shows wrapped in diwali flavor!!! By evening I was so bored and exhausted, so I decided to go out and feel the festive flavor in the air. I went to marine drive….. I love this place due to its uniqueness…. though its too calm but it has some kind of life in it….that day It was a different marine drive…every where there was beuty and bright lights people wishing each other, dressed nicely, children carrying crackers , joy and happiness flooding every where. Seeing so many people sooooo happy …I was also feeling very jovial and full of enthusiasm!!!! I saw people from all over Mumbai came there to celebrate this festival of light, joy and hope together….I also greeted some of them and exchanged sweets… I wan now not feeling lonesome ….meanwhile a very group of very distinct people attracted my attention…..they were wearing white/light colored clothes and were giving a white flower , a white lit candle and a white sweet to every one whoever passes by…. I was kind of exclaimed seeing this and went closer to ask what was the reason of doing the same, do they belong to particular community who celebrate Diwali this way or there is some other reason …. The answer which I got really made my Diwali a wonderful and memorable one !!!

They said “ We belong to that special community of people who worships humanity and believes in celebrating it….…this diwali we are trying to spread the thought of love, peace and sweetness in hearts” .